[From More New Math]
I wanted to talk about something that I normally only talk about with close friends who are in relationships. Arguing. I usually reserve this for partnered-up friends because at least that way I know that they have fights (well, at least I assume they have fights), and thus, will not judge me.
Mr. Pin Cushion and I don't fight very often. But when we do, it makes up for lost time. We are BAD at fighting. As in, it is very hard for us to get over our fights. One argument turns into another and we usually tire ourselves out and give in without ever actually coming to a true solution (which also might have to do with the fact that after fighting for days, we can't even remember what we started fighting about).
Also, we yell (as I mentioned in the Relationship Behaviors post). Most people who know me in 'real life' say that they are surprised to learn that I yell. But in the heat of the arguing, I usually am so angry that I can't contain it, or express my emotions with a quiet or calm voice. I might have a rage problem. My face gets hot, my chest gets tight. Scary. Also, I swear. Which I do NOT do any other time.
Do you and your partner fight "well", or do you fight "bad"? Do you yell or swear? What are your secrets to having good, productive fight? I would REALLY love to know. Books? Counseling?